Happy Wednesday babes! We are back, yep you know it. Time to crush on our favorites gals. Seriously missed these so much because there are SO many amazing women that shine bright, spread love, and make this tribe what it is. Slowly but surely we will get to you all because if I could, I would write about you guys day after day. You’re just that fab. But this mama is special. She’s sweet. She’s kind. She’s a badass and a beauty. I mean does it get any better?? Nope. Not really. She truly embodies what TORQUE is. She has embraced all the beauties and shared her own beauty with us. She is a gem and we are so lucky to call her ours. Missy Weleski is no stranger to our home. She is there day in and day out working on herself and helping us along the way. She is strong, fierce, and a badass in all classes. She knows that in order to get stronger, the best way to do it is together. Basically she is a no brainer to shine a light on and send some love!! Missy, you are amazing. You shine so bright every time you walk into a room. You make this world, this studio, our lives a better place by being in it. Don’t change, not now not ever! If you see Missy today, give her some extra love!!
To learn more about Missy and her love for TORQUE, keep reading! As always, sending all my love and good vibes to you all wherever you may be!
Smooches and squeezes,
Favorite TORQUE memory:
Alicia said something in one of my first classes, and it continues to stay with me; "I am here to challenge you, not defeat you". As I took my first spin, barre and TRX classes there were many times I felt defeated, and wondered how I’d make it through those 45 minutes! It's so important to remember this each and every class, and to push yourself and “DO YOU”!
“With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts”
Your definition of TORQUE:
TORQUE is my true happy place; one that I look forward to being at every single day! It’s time for me, and only me. Torque and its amazing instructors remind us that we are so much stronger than we think!! TORQUE has reconnected me with old friends, and given me the opportunity to make many new ones. THANK YOU Summer and the Torque Tribe for being you, and creating this amazing place!!
Favorite workout clothing brand:
Tops-all things TORQUE ?
Bottoms-bootyfull & 90 Degree by Reflex
Favorite post workout snack:
Banana. Plain and simple.
Top 5 -10 songs
*Kygo, Whitney Houston remix-Higher Love
*DJ Snake ft. Biopolar Sunshine-Middle
*Tiesto & Dzeko ft. Preme & Post Malone-Jackie Chan
*Mike Posner-I Took a Pill in Ibiza
*Maroon 5 ft. Cardi B-Girls Like You
Missy’s TORQUE schedule:
Every day, mixing it up with Barre, TRX and Spin!
Happy Thanksgiving my beautiful people! Before the day gets crazy and the food is served, I wanted to take a moment for all of us to just be. To be here now in this moment. To breathe. And to be thankful. Because that is what today is about. Yes it is about the turkey and pie and the friends and family. But it’s also about taking a moment to reflect on all the blessings we have. Something we don’t do enough. So today, right here and right now, take a few moments and just close our eyes. Think about all the amazing blessings in your life.
I’m sure the first couple things that come to mind are your family, your friends, and your four legged friends. How lucky are we that no matter how hard life gets we have not only loved ones, but also this tribe to lean on. I mean how many people can say that? Maybe they can say it, but can they mean it? That I’m not so sure about. But us, this tribe, we can not only say it but we can mean it as well. Because no matter if you have been coming for years or yesterday was your first class, we love you. We support you. We got you. Through any and all things. Something to be grateful for for sure.
So we got family and friends taken care of. What about the things we do everyday. I read somewhere that if you have a roof over your head, food in your fridge, and clothes on your back that you are richer than 75% of the world. Read that again. THE WORLD. I know these things are norms for us. And I know I take them for granted. But seeing first hand what poverty looks like in my students and my travels, has really made me take a step back and realize just how much I have and that I need to be more appreciative of it. Take a second and be thankful for all the things we use everyday.
What about the things we can’t touch. Our health? Our passions? Our education? Our time? These are things we need to be thankful for as well. It might not be the first thing that comes to mind, but without them who knows where we would be. Take some time and be grateful that we not only have these things, but we also have access to them. Schools, hospitals, help. That is something that not everyone can say and thankfully, we can.
Last but not least, be thankful for you. You do a lot. You give a lot. You work a lot. And you need to thank yourself, your body, your heart, and your mind for all the amazing things that you are and produce. Believe me when I say this, I am thankful for each and every one of you. The support. The work you do. The happiness you bring. And the love you share. I know that we all need to hear it so know that we are thankful for YOU and you should be too.
Now, go check the timers. Pour the wine. Laugh and love with those who mean most. Happy Thanksgiving TORQUE tribe, may you know how grateful and blessed we are to walk this life with you.
Good morning tribe! I miss you all so much. What a week it has been!! I seriously feel like I say this every week because well honestly, every week is a week. They are all busy, stressful, long, and all the in betweens. The key to making it through the week is finding the little bits and pieces of calm and soaking them in. Because if we don’t, we know what happens. So make a promise to yourself that you will find the calm and hold on tight, because it is essential to making it through these weeks. But my question to you, what happens when we can’t? What happens when, undeniably, the week gets the best of us? What then? How do we handle it? Where does our mind go?
I can tell you that there will be those weeks. Sometimes months. When it just feels like the world is winning or someone is out there to get you. It is life, it happens, and that is something that we can’t control. But what we can control is how we deal with it. That is something that is 100% in our control. But when you’re in the thick of it, the last thing we are thinking about is what is the BEST way to handle this, we just do what we think is best in that moment. Because we are human and we are impulsive and that is okay. So now the question has changed from how do we handle the hectic week to how do we handle the choices we made during the hectic week. And when does that get handled or thought through…you got it!! During another hectic week. So how do we break this cycle. How do we stop the second guessing, the carrying, the thinking, the worrying. I will tell you, its not easy. If anything it is really hard. But it is not impossible and that is key.
I am no different then the rest of you. I am feeling this right here with you. And one thing comes to mind. A Maren Morris song, The Bones. The lyrics of this song are just too good. “when the bones are good the rest don’t matter.” That line, right there, that is the answer people. Read it again. If the bones are good, the rest don't matter. Notice how deep it goes. All the way to the bones. Listen, I know it seems like these things that come flying around are the end all be all. The interview is defining. Your relationships are who you are. Your education is your reputation. And we spend WEEKS even YEARS of our lives trying to perfect all these other things. But for what? For who? Because listen, if the bones aren't good…the interview will fail. The relationship will be toxic. The education will be useless. Those are just qualities of you. But your bones…they are you. You cant be you without you. So its time to focus on that…time to focus on you.
So how do we strengthen the bones? How do we let go of the senseless things and focus on the important ones. Well, it starts with a promise. It starts with allowing yourself to let go. Of people. Experiences. Mistakes. Wrongdoings. Toxic people. Life begins when we turn on our hearts. So it is time to let go of all of that and turn on love. By doing that, we become strong from within and start to shine out. And suddenly our life is so bright, our love is so strong, that these weeks are life. We can see the joy that is in them and deal with the stress as it comes. When we re-shift our focus on bettering ourselves instead of being weighed down by ourselves, life gets a whole lot lighter. So let’s do that.
The most beautiful thing about this life is we all can connect on one level. We are all human. We all can relate to this on some level. We can turn to each other for advice. We can lean on each other when it gets to heavy. We can cry. We can listen. We can be. That is the answer. That is the secret. That is what we are going to do. Right here and right now. From now on, we worry about making the bones good because guess what…if they are good, the rest doesn't matter.
I'm right here with you. With love and strength,
Friday, FriYAY! Congratulations!! You made it to the end of the week. Just a few short hours until those 2 glorious days!! This week was a lot!! All the running around - from the costumes, the candy, the snacks for the parties, to the last-minute pumpkin carvings - all of it. But what I am learning is that amidst the hustle and bustle the memories are made. I thought that with Halloween behind us and the first holiday of the end-of-the-year marathon out of the way, it was a good time to talk about how we can tackle the holidays this year with open eyes and grateful hearts.
I know it sounds premature to be talking about the holidays, but when I was Target yesterday buying Halloween candy, the next aisle over was Christmas candy. So let’s face it, it’s here. From now until January we are going to be surrounded by constant reminders that the time is coming. The pressure is going to begin. And the stress is definitely going to pile on. That’s why, like all things, I think it is important to set the intention NOW on how we want to face these next few months. This way, we can really be present and make memories that last forever. I know it won’t be easy, but I think like most things, it will be worth it.
Here are some ideas on how to stay on top of things to reduce stress and enhance the holidays:
1. Don’t fill up every weekend. I literally think that from now until the middle of December every weekend is full and it has been this way since the middle of October. I am sure I am not the only one. I’m also sure I'm not the only one who can’t stand this. Slow down. Make family time. Couple time. Pajama time. Couch time. You time. It is so important.
2. Keep it simple. Let’s be honest. We have so much. We need so little. And most of the things we need, can't be bought. Remember that when you're planning and buying that time and conversations are what fills the heart and fuel the soul. Make it an effort to be present instead of giving one. Your heart will be full and the stress of all the wrapping, shopping, and planning will be alleviated.
3. Keep your normal routine!! I cannot stress this enough. We know the holidays are full of eating, drinking, cookies, and pie! Thankfully, it is also sweater weather. BUT to avoid the self-confidence blues, try this year to stay on top of your health. Don’t skip the gym. Don’t cancel the class. Stay healthy during the week and indulge on the weekends!! Keep yourself healthy and your mindset, energy, and desire to partake in holiday activities will increase!!
4. Don’t do it all. Use Amazon. Grocery delivery. Paper plates. Family members and friends. Don’t carry all the weight. Doing it together always makes it feel more festive anyway! So it is a win-win!! This will help you to reduce the amount of stress and enjoy the experience as a whole. Ask for help and don't feel bad. Use paper plates and sit with your family and chat instead of hand washing the china. Don't worry about every little detail, it always works out!!
I know it seems weird talking about this on the first of November, but it is just a hop, skip, and a jump away before we are knee-deep in it. So set the intentions now. Carve out some family and you time. Make a promise to yourself that you're not gonna be a stranger to the gym or the grocery store until January. Make the lists. Schedule the coffee dates. Make sure that when the time comes, you are present. This is how we get there. So it starts today, because before we know it…another holiday season will have come and gone. And we will wish for those moments again. So make a promise to yourself that this year it’s going to be different and I know for a fact…it will.
All my love and stealing the good candy vibes,
Happy Saturday TORQUE fam! This is a little different, saying hello on a weekend…I don't know I kind of like it! Whether you are drinking coffee in jammies, in the car on your way to a sports game (bundle up!!), relaxing post spin, or just enjoying this beautiful Saturday in bed make sure you take a few moments today to give your body and soul the attention and love that it not only needs, but also deserves.
So the other day, I went to a paint class to celebrate my best friends birthday. We got together with our moms, some wine, snacks, and each other and we were going to somehow paint this detailed pumpkin. I was not convinced that I was going to be able to do it. In fact, I was actually nervous and uncomfortable to be in this position. I couldn’t understand why.I mean, it was just a class. No one but me was taking this pumpkin home. And I was with my childhood best friend and my mom…so why all this pressure? I soon realized it was because I might fail. I might not live up to the stereotypical 1st grade teacher who can do all things crafts. I might be judged for my work. The word in there that is so beyond critical is might. Think abut that word and how much weight it holds in my thoughts. I might…meaning there is a chance. Not a definite, not a positive, a chance. So here I am already deciding it is going to be a horrible experience because something MIGHT happen. Looking back now, it seems silly. But in that moment, it was sweaty palms on a paint brush.
So fast forward to the class starting. I was painting, mixing colors, feeling like Picaso himself. I settled into the situation, or maybe the wine stated to kick in, but whatever it was I was doing it. I felt good, more comfortable, and almost I don't know…happy. Until our first break came. Our instructor had said we were going to take a break to let the paint dry a little. So I got up from my pumpkin and walked around to see everyone else’s pumpkin and I immediately took 3 steps back. I started to compare. I started to see everything that was wrong with mine solely by what was right with everyone else’s. I totally sucked the joy out of the experience because I allowed myself to think my pumpkin had too many hues of orange and yellow going on.
It was almost like the universe collided inside this little paint studio because as soon as we sat back down the instructor began to talk. She was saying how the other day she read a quote. It said, “comparison is the thief of joy”. She said that to us and then went into this talk about how our pumpkin is simply that, ours. It will not be the same as the person next to you or even across the room. Not because it is bad or not as detailed or even not as skilled, but simply because it is a piece of you. And that when we start to compare, the joy we received or felt or saw is stolen from us. I literally was like wtf I thought that this was a birthday party and not light off in the spin room. But the world works in mysterious ways and sometime the message you need to hear will find you no matter what.
From that point on, I learned to love my pumpkin for all the things it was. All the things I thought it should be. I wasn't worried about what Beth’s pumpkin looked like or what my moms looked like because that was theirs. That was an extension of them. It would never be an extension of me so why compare? Well, because we are human and that is what we do. But maybe, just maybe we can give our best efforts to stop it and change it.
I tell you this today because joy is what makes life living. I see it every day on my first grader’s faces. It is simply the most warm and fulfilling feeling in the world. And sometimes, without even knowing, we are the catalyst to it being stolen. So, I ask you today to let all the things you are, all the things you do, all the things you produce, all the things you love to be viewed through one lens..you. Don’t let the joy you have for all you have done be stolen by someone else’s extension of them. Be proud of what you can do and feel the joy all throughout. Don't live in the future of what if’s or mights, be here now. Love yourself in all the different hues of life and know that when you feel the joy slipping away to refocus your lens. I promise you, you can do it. Because guess what…I love my little pumpkin. For all that it is and all that it taught me. It might not be ready to go into a gallery, but that's okay because it is a part of me. And for that reason alone it is all it needs to be.
I love you, always and all ways. And so should you.
Hi there TORQUE babes! I hope the week has treated you well. I want this to be a qucik, little reminder that everything is okay. Even if it isn't okay, I promise you it is. Sometimes it is so easy to get ahead of reality and decide that our life is just getting further and further away from that image we have in our heads. I know that when bad days happen they are usually followed by a few more. I'm here to tell you that on your worst days, they are someone’s dream day. I know in the moment it doesn't feel like that, but in reality it is. When you're running late and your coffee spills, remember you have the coffee to begin with. When you buy a new carpet and the dog immediately chews it, remember that you had somewhere to put carpet. Remember when you're sitting in traffic and you are so irritated and annoyed because you're going to be late for work that you have a job to go to everyday. I read the other day that if you have a roof over your head and food in your fridge you are ahead of 90% of the world. Remember that. Don't sweat the small stuff. Because if the coffee spills, there is more. If you're 5 minutes late, the clock still ticks. If the carpet is chewed, it’s still in your home. So remember that on the worst days, where things just aren't going right, that someone out there is wishing their coffee would spill. It’s a good reminder for us to ground ourselves every once in a while. To realize and reflect on just how blessed we are. We are human. We react, and sometimes overreact. And that is okay. But the beauty lies within the ability to become grateful for our problems. That is when appreciation and gratitude is planted and eventually will bloom. That is when we begin to see just how perfectly imperfect this life is. And the secret to all of this, those imperfections, those moments, are what make life beautiful and worth living. So remember today and always that you are blessed and loved. Two of the hardest things to achieve in this life. And we have them both. Let that sit for a second and be grateful.
Go out into the world today and be kind. Spread love. Smile and laugh. Even if the coffee did spill and the traffic sucked. Learn to find the beauty within the struggle and life will become a whole lot clearer. And because traffic and spilled coffee and chewed carpets and stress are dealt better with music, here is a playlist to remind you to simply be humble and kind. I love you.
Always and all ways,
Hi there tribe! Hope all is well. I have been recently thinking about what to write about and wasn't sure which avenue I wanted to take. I have been wanting to write about this topic for a couple of weeks but wasn't sure how to go about it. I kept seeing it posted all over social media and it is something that we all need to hear. So I think I'm finally ready to speak on this. Listen up ladies, because this topic is toxic. If we don't stop it, if we don't change our mindset on this, if we let it keep happening, then we are failing. Failure isn't an option here when we have the ability to avoid it. And this is one of those things that we can 100% avoid. So I ask you this question, since when did her win become your loss? I know. It’s deep, but we have to talk through this one because if we don’t we might continue on this path of taking other peoples victories as our inability to succeed. And that mindset, it isn't good for anyone. So let’s break this down.
Since when? Well, unfortunately, the answer is probably forever. We are human. We compare. We talk others down to build ourselves up. While we don't like to admit this we all know that at one time or another, we have been there. We have been on the beach and compared ourselves to another person. And instead of saying, “wow they look awesome, they must be dedicated to their lifestyle” we think, “I wish I had time to workout all day but I actually work for a living”. Or we see someone with a new car and instead of thinking “good for them” we think “I cant afford something like that because I have children to pay for” or we see a family who is happy and healthy and we take that image and maybe we convince ourselves that they are putting on a facade, that there is no way they are happy, that it is fake. And the problem with all of this besides the fact that it is so mean and unecessary, is no one is winning. No one is happy. And when that happens, when we all reach one emotion as a whole, that is dangerous, toxic and totally not okay.
You see when we impose our negativity on someone else’s positivity, we feel better about ourselves and they now feel negative about themselves. Because maybe the reason she works out and looks good is for her sanity. Maybe it is her church or her therapy. Maybe she makes it a priority. Maybe she drives a nice car because she can’t have children or doesn't want them. Maybe she is career driven. Maybe they really are happy and they really do love each other. Maybe it is all okay for it to be okay. Maybe it isn't for us to decide. You see, when we make their wins our losses, we take that away from them. Slowly and surely it then becomes this shame feeling. Something that someone worked so hard for, something they are so proud of, it is now associated with negativity because of how you perceived it. That is the big bold red flag problem that we MUST change sooner rather than later. Or else, we will all become numb to the joys of life. Wins and losses will become the same thing. And we will all become common enemies. That is the scary truth. So lets make a promise right now that we turn this around. But how?
We start by minding our own business. We don't write peoples stories for them. We don't infer or assume. We celebrate when we need to and we mourn when its time. And all that extra time and energy we have, we work on ourselves. We work on our hearts. We work on what our eyes are seeing. You see, when you have too much time on your hands to think you can think yourself to a permanent state of negativity. So let’s get out of there. Let’s fill our time with working on us. That way we are ready to jump up and down in celebration for others because we have something to celebrate as well. We will start to feel happy about our lives and want to share that happiness with others. And when it’s someone else’s turn we will remember how amazing it felt to be on the other side and to be supported.
So today we do something to work towards that celebration. We chime in and celebrate on others when appropriate and know our turn will come if we keep working. We build up, not break down. We add rather than subtract. We think good instead of bad. We love instead of hate. We take her win and use it as motivation to keep working towards ours. We walk together, hand in hand, in all the seasons of life. And by doing that, we become one badass, confident, loving tribe of women unstoppable against the world, because we have the strongest army behind us…each other.
The time for this must be now. All my love,
Hi there tribe! Happy fall! I almost feel silly saying that because it is still sunny and hot out, but fall is among us. I know we will be wanting this warmth in a few weeks, so we should take a little bit of time and appreciate it while it lasts! But believe me, I am ready to pull out my sweaters, pick pumpkins, drink beers around bonfires, and do all the fall things. Like all things, it will come and patience is key. I thought that this was the perfect time to talk about how beautiful change is. I mean, mother nature is about to put on one of the most gorgeous shows ever. The earth will silently and without much notice go from green and bright to bare and dull. But in between that time, in the midst of the change, something beautiful happens. The leaves go through a transformation and send a breathtaking image into the world before dying off and leaving their mark for the year. Much like the leaves on the trees, the ways we change are so beyond beautiful, even if they are silent and without knowing.
Change is a funny word. Because in one sense it has this fear attached to it. It has commitment and structure and new scary things associated with it. But at the same time it represents hope and new beginnings. I thought about this and really caught myself in the middle of this question…is change good or bad? And I really pondered on it. I mean for some things I agree that if it isn't broken, then don't fix it. But then for others, change is the opportunity or the avenue to be better. So who decides if change is good or bad? When I asked myself that question, I almost kinda giggled to myself because the person who decides is the person who was thinking it. We decide if the changes we are making are good or bad. We decide how we perceive the new season of life we are entering. We decide whether or not we want to publicize the change or just do it. But the power is in our hands, and that is the important reminder.
I know that changes can be scary and nine times out of ten they are. Anything worth having isn't going to be easy, but just like the fall picture that gets painted in the sky, it is truly worth it. So I ask you…what could you change? what could you do to make your life better? Is it something small like taking 10 minutes for yourself in between the hustle and bustle? or is it something bigger like walking away from the corporate world to pursue your dreams? Whatever it may be, big or small, there is something you could do in your life to make it a little brighter.
Change comes in all shapes and sizes and wears many masks along the way. It can be hard to decide when the right time is to make all of these changes, but the longer we sit around waiting, the most time we waste. Because unfortunately there is no good time for change, unless we get to the point where change is the only option. And that is the scary point. When we have no choice but to do this big scary thing because we are so miserable we can’t take it anymore. Or we have let ourselves go so much that we are putting our health at risk. Or our relationship is so unhealthy the only option we have is to walk away. If you're reading this and feeling a little tug at your heart, close your eyes, figure out why that feeling is happening, and then embrace any changes you need to make that go away. Those are the red flags our heart and soul are sending out and it is time to grab ahold of them. Because while change is scary, it is oh so necessary, and even more beautiful. Funny, because so are you. You are oh so necessary and oh so beautiful. And its time to do things in life that reflect that mindset.
So decide today that from now on change is what we make it. It is neither good, nor bad, its not even somewhere in the middle. It just is and that’sall it has to be. When it gets hard, or scary, or dark and grey, remember your autumn is coming. Sooner or later the changes you make in your life will show you their beauty, and you will be standing there in awe. Do it for that moment…when the changes become beautiful. I promise, it will happen.
Until then, keep chasing after your dreams and fighting the daily battles life throws your way. And always remember how beautiful and necessary you are to so many in this life. You matter and I love you. Always and all ways.
Oh hey there TORQUE babes! It is a good day to have a good day so I think that is what we are going to do. I know the odds are against us with the date and the full moon, BUT I also know that the deciding factor to whether or not we have a good day is deep within ourselves. So we are gonna decide right now that today is going to be not only good, but great. AND tomorrow will be even better. I can’t even begin to explain how excited I am to celebrate our happy place. Three years. HOW??? How did that happen. I can’t even believe it because it feels too short but at the same time I can’r remember life before TORQUE, and I don’t think I am the only person who feels that way. It is an amazing place, with amazing people, with even more amazing energy. I don't think I will ever be able to put into words the amount of gratitude and love I have for the walls of this studio. I don't think I will ever be able to explain just what it has done for me. I don't know where I would be without it, without all of you. Sometimes it is easy to lose sight of just how amazing this place is. That is why days like tomorrow are so important. Yes they are supposed to be fun and happy, but they are also what I like to call stopping and smelling the roses. Anniversaries, birthdays, special times are when we get to really focus on something or someone that has impacted you. Everyone who is reading this right now can say that this studio these people their message has in some way changed your life. Let’s just think about that for a second and be grateful. Like I said, I don't think there will ever be the right words to describe what this place is…but let’s try.
Home. This studio is simply home. People gather. They talk. They hug. They laugh. They smile. They love. Kids grow up here. In front of our eyes. People hang out before and after classes. Share a drink and long chats. Order food and sit criss cross apple sauce on the floor and they share bites of each. People feel that this place is somewhere that they belong. Somewhere they can be. Somewhere they are loved. This place is home and it always will be.
Pure magic. I mean have you talked to some of the people here?? The stories. The Pain. The struggles. The divorces, miscarriages, sickness, money troubles, parenting, death, addiction, etc. All those things were left at the door when they came in contact with TORQUE. The positive shield that this place has makes little to no room for those things. This place heals big wounds. It makes you dig deep. Feel the pain. Cry the tears. Work through it. And then…it wraps you in love. Holds your hand. Walks with you. And watches you fly. This studio knows the deepest and darkest most painful secrets we have ever had and somehow has turned those things into beautiful people with even more beautiful hearts. Like I said, pure magic.
Unstoppable. This is just the beginning. 3 years will one day be 30 years. Best studio in Philly will one day be best studio in the US. This place has no limitations. It has big dreams. Big goals. Hopes and dreams. the whole nine. TORQUE is here to stay and nothing or no one is going to come in its way. As long as there are happy beats, smiling faces, and people dedicated to becoming a better version of themselves, the lights will always be on. The green hearts will still be flowing. And the people in this community will keep on growing. TORQUE is unstoppable and this is only the beginning.
So as we reflect and prepare to celebrate three amazing years of love, laughter, growth, and support I ask you to think about what TORQUE has done for you. Where has it taken you? What have you been able to accomplish with its help? Take some time and be grateful for this place and all the people who make it what it is. And then raise your glass, cheers, and do it again. This is TORQUE. And it’s just getting started.
Green Hearts for all, every single day…
Hi there babes! It’s Friday!!! Believe me, I am in my classroom right now, with 18 kids, doing a happy dance because the only thing that stands between us and the weekend is a few worksheets, recess, lunch, and a spelling test!!! It is almost here and another work week, school week, mom week, has come to a close and the weekend is upon US. We can do it people. So this post is all about loving ourselves. A topic we don't shy away from talking about, we sometimes veer off the path from time to time. I know we talk about it a lot, but I have a little bit of a different lens that I am looking through this time.
Loving yourself is a life long commitment. It is not something that grows overnight. The product does not come with 2 day shipping. And you can’t go to Target to buy it either. Why? Because loving yourself is not something that is tangible, it is a mindset. A mindset that we decide for ourselves. Yes, there are things that we can do to ACHIEVE that love, but we can’t grasp it and hold onto it. We can only feel it and eventually become it. Rita Pearson, a life long teacher, once said that if you say something enough it starts to become a part of you. I like that. Like really like that. So I started to do that. With this saying.. I love you, always and all ways. For a while I only said this to DJ because that was how I promised to love him. Forever and in any state. But then I thought to myself one day, damn, the is a pretty sweet deal. How great would it be if I loved myself that way. That thought came and went just as fast as all my other self care thoughts had gone. Until recently. Until I was dragging. Until I needed to start loving my self always and in all ways.
These past 2 weeks my life has been flipped upside down. It has been amazing and I wouldn't change it for the world, but it is exhausting. And I found myself struggling. I found myself empty. Tired. Cranky. Not motivated. Distant. All of those things. I realized it was because I had to figure out how to love myself in this new stage of life. Because forever is, well, forever, but forever doesn't have a broken down minute by minute agenda. But life does. So when we say we will love ourselves always we don't allow any room for flexibility. Yes I still loved my life and my accomplishments and who I was these past two weeks, but I wasn't loving the state, shape, or form I was in. I wasn't loving the day to day, but rather the big picture. And I think a lot of us get caught here. I know I do. We love the big idea. We love the main idea. But we lose sight of the details. I am starting to realize that the details are what make the love capable of being felt.
Loving yourself can be found in a multitude of ways. But knowing what you need (all ways) is key. When you’re tired and exhausted, the best way to love yourself is by listening to your body. When life is busy and stressful, the best way to love yourself is doing something for yourself. When you want to feel better about how you look or feel, the best way to love yourself is with patience. When you're frustrated and sad, the best way to love yourself is to feel. Loving yourself isn't always found in a workout, a manicure, or a weekend trip. It can be found in reading a book before bed, bubble baths, wine, naps, long walks, cry sessions, hugs, and sometimes just good old peace and quiet. It is not a matter of IF we love ourselves but rather are we going to LET ourselves love ourselves. That’s when the magic will happen. When we begin to have autonomy over what we need.
So I ask yourself today to promise me this. That you will love yourself fiercely and forever. That you will love yourself in all the different walks of life. That you will adapt to what you need in times of change and growth. And that no matter what, no matter how hard it gets, you will never ever stop trying. Because at the end of the day, love starts with you. Deep down in your soul, and then one person at a time, it changes the world. So I leave you with this now that you know what it means…love yourself, always and all ways.
I love you,