Hello there TORQUE babes, happy Friday. It feels like it has been so long since we have been here and well it has been. A week away from the blog is never fun for me, but sometimes it just happens. Between school and work, and then trying to catch up on sleep and laundry, you all know how it is. But for me, this past week, it has been all of that and a little bit of writer’s block too. I would sit down to write and just bleh. Nothing came out. But as I always say, this blog is inspired by what is happening around me. The first day of spring happened, the theme rides at the studio, friends sharing stories, just the general vibes of life right now, it all started to inspire me. It really is funny how sometimes things are coincidences. But then I sit there and think are they really? Well this week the coincidence that I had was centered around the word joy.
This word is something that I feel like I never use, never know how it feels, or even what it looks like at times. But then I was in the 7pm Spin class on Tuesday night (Beyoncé totes won) and the Inspo song came on, Halo by Beyoncé, I think I started to feel it. I just felt full yet light. I felt all warm inside yet strong and tough. I felt happy. I felt confident. I felt free. I felt like I could have kept pedaling on that bike, in my happy place.I just felt like I was home. That feeling is something that is so fulfilling. to feel secure in a place and know that you are meant to be there, it is truly something that I think so many of us feel when we enter that studio. But I wasn't sure how to explain it. I couldn't put it into words. I felt happy leaving the studio. I felt happy that I got my butt in the car to go. But I couldn't pin point that feeling. It was so frustrating for me, because I knew it was something but I just couldn’t find the word. And then, like magic, it happened. I got a text from my bestie Beth. it was a quote from one of the books she is reading. And I was almost like you have to be kidding me, how is this happening. You'll understand what I mean when you read the quote, it reads, “When we are faced with a challenging situation, we have two choices: hold onto our pain or heal it. What I have discovered is choosing to heal is no different from choosing joy. Our most natural state is joy. When we are in it, we feel light, effortless, smooth, confident, and free. What makes joy so powerful is its purity. It is an unfiltered state of unconditional love. Joy is abundantly and effortlessly alive, yet we let so many things— frustrations, mishaps, fears, anxieties, unhealthy relationships, and past experiences— taint it.”
You can imagine the feelings that went through my body while I was reading this. That was it. The feeling was joy. But the thing that took me back the most wasn't that this was a coincidence, but rather that I couldn't identify the feeling because it is something I have been tainting for a while. The last sentence in that quote, it really shook me to my core. There are so many things that we surround ourselves in, negative things, that consume the joy in our lives. They steal that confidence, that light, the love, and the innocence. It really made me to stop an think. I wear a mantra band on my wrist everyday that says, “choose joy”. And when I think about it, I think well, how do I choose joy? I realized that choosing joy means saying no to all those other things. To not giving them our head space. To freeing ourselves from experiences that weigh on us daily. Because joy is our natural state. Joy is our home. That is where we need to be. So in order to be there, we need to leave all those other things. So today, we start. We really begin to choose joy. We leave no space for the frustrations, the mishaps, or the fear. And slowly but surely, that feeling, that wonderful feeling will consume us. And it will be simple. It will be free. It will be joy.
I love you all immeasurably. I miss you all dearly. And I hope to see you all oh so soon. As always, sending my love and light to you all wherever you may be.