So the other day I was on my way to the beach to have some much needed time with my bestie, Beth. Dj was getting on an airplane to Arizona for a golf trip. It was the perfect long weekend for the both of us. Things were good. I was getting the last few things together to put into my car and then I was on my way. The sun was shining and the sky was clear. I got into my car, turned the music up loud, put my windows down, and was off. That feeling is one of the best. Leaving and knowing that so much fun lies ahead of you. So I am driving and I realize that about an hour into my drive, the gas light goes on. So I get off at the next exit and follow the signs to the gas station. As I am driving I thought it would be a good idea to turn the music down so it wasn't on full blast as I pulled into the gas station and thank you GOD that I did. I pulled up to the pump, slowed down, and heard the most terrible, high pitched screech that I ever heard in my entire life. I mean this was so loud that people were looking at me in the gas station. I was immediately, and I mean IMMEDIATELY annoyed. I got out, pumped the gas while a hundred and one thoughts were going through my head, put the gas cap on, and called my dad. All while this was happening I was texting DJ, who is about 30 minutes from boarding somehow blaming this on him. I know, makes no sense right? So I’m talking to my dad and he said I was not to drive it down the shore and I had two choices….to get it fixed or to go home and get it fixed. You can imagine that neither of those options were ones that I wanted to hear. Frustrated me looked up a garage, played the “it’s fine, I’ll deal with it card” and shut everyone out. Everyone being the ones who were doing there best to help me. So I got to the garage. They said my brakes were metal to metal and that they weren't able to do it for a couple of hours. That didn't settle well with me so I thanked them kindly and was on my way tot he next garage which my dad had found and made an appointment for me while I was “dealing with it”. I pulled up, signed the papers, grabbed my charger and water bottle out of the car, and waited until my car was drivable. Which was about 4.5 hours later on the side of the highway at some garage in Chester.
During that time, I was a basket case. I sat there crying, angry, frustrated, and throwing myself what I like to call them “Eeyore” parties. Feeling all sorry for myself and blaming everyone and everything for this mishap in my life. As if it was the end of the world. I was so beyond bitter at the situation. I was bitter that DJ was getting on a plane, as if he wanted this to happen. I was bitter that I was going to have to pay for this, as if it was ever going to be free. I was bitter that instead of laying on the beach in the sun I was sitting in a crappy car garage. I was bitter and it didn't make this situation any better. If anything, it made it worse. A lot worse. The problem with these situations, the ones where bitterness is the sweetest solution, is that you're the only one who cant see how minuscule these things are. To Beth, this was just a few extra hours without me being at the beach. Something so small right? But to those that are in the thick of it, it’s the world saying you thought but not this time. We make it so personal. We make it so negative. We make these natural, unplanned, bound to happen situations a part of some greater plan that our past wrongdoings have brought us. And that is where we go wrong. That is where we need to stop. These are the moments where we stop being bitter and we, in fact, become better.
I thought for days after how when it was over, it was like it never happened. That in and of itself told me how little and normal of a thing this was. These are things that are going to keep happening and its time to learn how to make the best out of the situation. So I sat there and thought what was the good? If I were to have to do it again, what would I do differently. The first thing I thought of was how I reacted. How I treated the people I loved. It is so easy for us to become bitter and spiteful towards the ones we love when stress is high. So how do we control that in these times? Well I think it comes from understanding what they are feeling. Which is mostly helpless and upset that they cant be there with you. Also, remembering why you called them in the first place. You didn't call them to unload all the anger you have, you at the root of this called them for help. So let them do just that. The other thing I thought of was to think about what could have happened if I DIDN’T get this fixed. The reality is I could have never made it to the beach altogether. I could have been in an accident on the highway or stranded in a place with no garages around. These things happen when they are supposed to for a reason and although in the moment it is so hard to remember that, it is really important to try. Finally, the last thing I would have done differently is I would have breathed a little more and yelled a little less. I would have tried to handle this with class rather than sass. I would have tried to see the bright side. Been thankful for the people who did help. And realize that its not a bad life just a bad day, or hour.
When these situations happen it is so easy to become bitter. Because they do suck. They usually aren’t fun. And 9 times out of 10 they are the last thing you want to be doing. But if we start looking at them as opportunities to become better, in all senses, then we have killed this with kindness. I know there will be more tough days ahead and there will be times when I fall to being bitter instead of better, but having the awareness to try and see the positives in these situations are the first step. I ask all of you to look at hardships, hard times, tough cards, and confusing roads as an opportunity to grow positively. That is where true change happens. When you can take the sourest lemons in a situation and make it into the sweetest of lemonade. And then later add some vodka to it because you deserve it!! We can do this tribe, I know we can. It won’t always be easy, but it is always going to be worth it! And that is a reason enough to do it! So here we go, remember don't get bitter, get better.
XO, love you!