Hi there beauties! I wish I was writing to you while looking at a blanket of fresh snow with the fireplace going while wrapped in a blanket enjoying my coffee. But unfortunately it is just another dreary, cold day in one of the most stressful times of the year. I know the joy and magic of the season is what makes it so great, but being realistic, we all know that the joy and magic come after a lot of work and stress. Hold on because we are almost there. The break, the celebrations, the smiles, the family it is all so close. We can and we will do it. Just have to hold on a little bit longer. I am definelty feeling the stress of the holidays a little more than usual this year. Not only is this my first holiday season “on my own”, but it also my first holiday season as a teacher. Yup, that is what you call a double whammy my friends. You really don't know a headache until you spend the day with 18 six year old jumping out of their seats because they just can’t wait one more day for Santa. It’s cute for about a day…this has been going strong for 14 days people!! The truth of the matter is, this time of the year, it can become a lot. And sometimes, we just need to go home.
About a week ago I had one of those nights. It was a Sunday. I was so grumpy and lazy all day. And then the realness of Monday set in and I lost it. I just came crashing down. I was completely overwhelmed by the presents, the shopping, the cards, the lesson plans, the laundry, the groceries, the cleaning, did I mention the laundry because like how does it even get done during the holidays…let me know. I was just overwhelmed with life and my body, my heart, and my soul had reached their breaking point. There I was, in a bubble bath trying to relax, sobbing. Because I just didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to start. I didn't know what I needed. I felt like I had no time to see my friends, but I really wanted to. I felt like I couldn't go to the gym because there was too much to do, but then I sat there thinking about the gym. It was a spiral. And it was the first time in a long time I wished I could just fast forward life and be in a better place. We all know that isn't the reality and that sooner or later, Monday comes. So how do we get ourselves up? How do we keep going? We go home. We reset. We refocus. And we do that as many times as we need to. But where is home? Well, I think we all know.
I realized that one of the things that had been missing from my life was TORQUE. My home. My self-care. My me time. When things got busy and when life got stressful, it was the first thing to be cut. Because I had convinced myself I didn't have the time. And that was the biggest mistake. Because what happened was I just kept giving. Everyday, we give ourselves. We give our time. We give our thoughts. We give our ideas. We give our patience. We give, we give, we give. When life gets busy sometimes we can get into this cycle where we think others actions will fill that void of self love. But nothing can fix that hole in our hearts, that pit in our stomach, those tears in our eyes than the genuine love and time we can set aside for ourselves. When we don't take the time to refill our cup, we find ourselves crying in the bathtub in a Sunday night not knowing why. So I realized that I needed to MAKE the time to get into the studio because feeling this way was unacceptable and completely preventable. That week I got into the studio Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday. Was I a little bit more tired? Yep. Did I have to work a little smarter? yep. Was it worth it? Absolutely. I really can’t explain the instant relief I had just walking into the studio. Seeing familiar faces. Doing something I love. It was the best medicine, the best hour, the best money I could have spent. And it was there all along.
So I ask you today, in the midst of all of this hustle and bustle, to take some time to refill your cup. To be the person you need to be in order to be present this holiday season. It all starts with you and the decision to do what your heart needs. Come home to us. Be here with us. Refill with us. I promise you with everything I have, it will be worth it.
All my love, happy thoughts, and strength to you all no matter where you may be. Xo,