Hello hello! I hope this week is treating you well. With Thanksgiving approaching and the hustle and bustle beginning soon, it is important that we fill our cups with all good things, happy moments, and acts of love. I once read something that what is in your cup is what spills out of your cup, I mean makes sense right? So in order to have keep doing good and to keep feeling good, we have to do something with all the bad things. I know, this is the topic that is hard to talk about. The dark chapters in our lives, the painful memories, the moments we hate most. But in order to love ourselves and those around us, we need to get those thoughts and those feelings out. We need to say them, hear them, feel them, write them. We need them to leave our bodies, so we can fill them with love. So, today, we write. We pick up a pen. We type. We speak. We do whatever it takes to let go of those who have hurt us. We let them know our feelings. We free ourselves from the lies our minds are telling us. We breathe. We exhale. And we let go. Even though they may never read these or know how we truly feel, this is something WE need to do. We need to say goodbye to them. Not because they deserve anything, but because we deserve everything. I have written a letter to the ones who have hurt me. Maybe reading it will inspire you to write your own or these words will bring you a sense of peace. Whatever it may be, let go of a little bit of that hate and anger you have inside of you. Because although anger has 5 letters, so does happy. Although cry has 3, so does joy. Although hurt has 4, so does heal. It’s time to transform our lives to things that help us rather than hinder us. Let this be day one to saying goodbye to the ones who have hurt us most.
I am wrapping you all up in a huge hug right now and sending you all of the courage in the world to say goodbye to the past and all those who have hurt you.
Hi there, it’s me. I know you know who I am and I know you know what this is about. But I am not writing to you to relive the past. I’m writing to show you just how far I have come. So wherever you are whatever you are doing, I hope that this finds you well. There are a few things that I want you to know and this time I hope you listen to the lesson that I have learned because of the pain you have caused me. To start, you did hurt me. I wish I could deny it and pretend it didn't happen. And for a while, I lived that life. The one where I believed you. The one where I listened to everyone but myself. The one where I numbed the pain of the past to be able to bear the present. That was the life you wanted for me. That was the easy life to live. But I’ve learned that anything worth having does not come easy. So I stopped letting you win. I accepted my life as it was and I went from there. Did it happen overnight? No. Was it easy? Far from it. But was it worth it? 100%. Taking my life out of your hands and back into my own was the day that you lost, you just didn't know it yet.
Accepting the pain you caused me was one the hardest, but most necessary things that needed to happen to take my life back. Once I did that, the sun shined a little brighter, the birds sang a little sweeter, the grass looked a little greener, and life got a little better. But that was just step one, step one of one hundred. Because there were a lot of puzzle pieces that once were put together but then were suddenly all out of place. A whole ton of confusion, a whole lot of feelings. A whole lot of everything that once made sense and now it didn’t. It was time to piece them back together. One piece at a time. Remember, I did that, not you.
When those pieces were slowly being put back together, that is when things really started to make sense. Because I realized that all of this was no longer about you, but more so about me. It was about continuing on the journey to finding myself. You had no place on that journey. And you tried, over and over again to make your way back in. Whether it was in my thoughts or in your words. But that was when those puzzle pieces came together. These pieces you see were people, old and new. Experiences, fun and mesmerizing. Long chats at night and laugher over coffee. They were song lyrics, quotes, bible verses, and prayers. They were conversations, they were moments of silence, they were everything and everything. Except for one thing, they were not you. Because no matter how hard you tried to make your way back into this puzzle, there was never a piece fit for you. And the more and more I grew, the easier it was to see that you meant nothing and never would.
You see, it’s funny how life works. There are things that happen that just don’t make sense. Your mind is not able to process it. They are unfair, they are cruel, they are painful. And you have two choices to be defined by it or to define it. And I just want you to know, that I have defined it. I took that pain that you imposed, and I turned it into something beautiful. I took the sourest lemons that this life had to offer, and I turned it into lemonade. I took hate and turned it into love. I did that, not you. And to be honest, I feel sorry for you. Because the most beautiful things in life are on the other side of fear. Taking control of my life was the scariest thing I have ever done, but was truly the most beautiful. And that is an experience you will never have. And for me, that is enough. I may not have had the last word. I may not have gotten an apology. I may not have gotten everything I deserved from you. But I got it from someone much better, me.
So wherever you are out there in this life, know that I am doing just fine. I am happy. I am loved. I am winning. Take that for what it is and know that I am doing exactly what you didn’t want, living a beautiful life surrounded by beautiful people doing beautiful things. Because in the end, that’s what I was intended to do, and not even you could stop me..
The one you hurt, but the one that won