-What if it matters in 5 years?-

Hi there TORQUE Tribe! It has been a little while, but as always, I am happy to be back with you in one of my most favorite spaces...the blog. I hope that the way of the world is not impacting you too much and that you are remembering to take care of yourselves no matter what stage of life you are in. It is the most important thing to do. No matter how big or small the action is, make sure you are doing something each day that makes your heart happy and your soul dance. It is truly what sets this tribe apart from the rest of the world. We use our happiness, our determination, and our strength to show the world love and kindness each day in some capacity. I just wanted to give you a shout out real quick to remember that your work, your presence, and your impact matters. Even when you think it doesn't, it does. I can promise you that.

When I sat down to write this today, I wasn't sure where it would lead me. I had a few ideas bopping around in my head, but like it always does, the topic comes to me when I am in this space. I close my eyes and I think of all of you. I think of how I see myself and my struggles and life experiences in all of you. I think of the relationships I have created. I think of the relationships I have lost. I think why? I think how? I think about this life we are walking and the lesson we have acquired together on this journey. I think a lot of things and I see a lot of things. And today, and for a while, I have been seeing and thinking of this message. Something that I live by greatly. And I am sure some of you do as well. But, I think we tend to live by the one side of it and don't really think about the other half of this equation. There is a saying, "if it won't matter in 5 years, don't give it 5 minutes." Those words are so true. So many things pop up throughout our daily lives. Little things that are pesky and annoying. Snarky comments, schedule changes, miscommunication, you name it, they happen. And believe me, I know, they are ANNOYING. They are just annoying enough that we dwell on them longer than we should. For instance, we get an email asking us to send something or forward something and upload something and that means we have to go dig and find it and then copy it and paste it and create and email and attach it and send it and we get so worked up over something that is minuscule. We could have honestly probably completed the task in the amount of time that we grabbed our phone, texted our friend or coworker or whoever to complain about the situation. I know I am not the only one here who takes small things in their day to day life and make them big. Because at that time, maybe they were big. But it is important to remember that whatever we are faced with won't matter in 5 years abs to not give 5 minutes of our life and frustration to it. But what about the other way around. What if we are faced with a situation and we ask ourselves that same question, "will this matter in 5 years?" What if we ask that...and the answer is yes. What do we do then? Well, to put it in short...we give it the 5 minutes.

I like words. I like to look deeper into words. I like to investigate them, manipulate them, and figure out what they mean. I like taking things and looking at it through a different lens or a lens that it wasn't intended to be looked through. This saying is telling us to not waste time on the little things....but if you manipulate that sentence and reverse it...it tells you something else. It tells you to spend time on the big things. That is what I want to talk about today. Those events, those moments, those life situations that happen in our lives that WILL matter in 5 years. What do we do with them? How do we process them? How do we move on from them. Because there are a ton of things that happen in our lives that will bring us happiness and joy. Like birthdays, anniversaries, milestones, careers, etc. And we celebrate them. But what about the events that don't have that same effect on us? What about the events that stop us in our tracks, make our hearts sink into our stomachs, and leave us standing there thinking not about 5 years, but simply the next 5 minutes. What about those events? I am not an expert by any means. Just a person who took something awful, and in 5 years made it beautiful. I can remember my stop in your track, heart sinking, not sure what the next 5 minutes held moment very clearly. I am sure that if you are reading this and can relate, you can feel something happening inside you and your mind drifting away to that exact moment, where life stopped being measured by years, and your future became seconds and minutes. These times are scary. These times are usually unannounced. And these times have no guidelines or best sellers on how to get out of them. These times suck when we are in them. But sometimes, and in my experience most times, they bring us to the most amazing things in life. To put this simply, these types of events require 5 minutes. They require a combination of 5 minutes. They require your entire being, all your energy, and your heart and soul. They require attention and support and love and patience. They require pain and hardship and tough decisions. They require you. Every single ounce. And they require this for a while. Until they don't, because one day they won't. And slowly but surely, these stop in your tracks moment become less and less a part of your life. Not that you forget them, but you start to accept them. You look at them in maybe a different lens, a lens that wasn't intended for the situation but that you decided to look through. You see the possibilities, the good, the opportunities that it leads you to. You let go of the pain and use it as motivation to persevere. You heal your wounds, but are proud of your scars. You do this by giving yourself time and grace. You are gentle and understanding. You take 3 steps forward some days and 3 steps back on others, but you don't stop moving. And one day, like me today, you wake up thinking back 5 years and realize you were happy you gave this 5 minutes (100000 times over again). Because these events that WILL matter in 5 years, are what make you you. Not the event itself but the strength, courage, freedom, and wisdom that you gain from it.

I want you to think about an event that changed your life. An event that you thought you would never overcome. And think of how it helped you get here to this place today. What did you gain from it? What did you learn from it? I can say that I gained my career, my friends, my fiance, my outlook, and my self worth. All from something that I thought was my ending. Little did I know, it was just the beginning. Give yourself the time, even if it is 5 minutes, to deal and heal from these events. 5 years from now it will still matter, but you can determine what that means for you. It's in you. It's been destined for you all along. And maybe now it is time to show the world and yourself, just how damn strong you are.

Things come and go, but you remain. Remember that. I love you, always and all ways.

Caroline