My journey with TORQUE began less than a year ago, and what a journey it has been. Like everyone, I have a story, a past, a cross that I carried into TORQUE with me. The crazy thing is that I didn't know that TORQUE would become the place where my next chapter would begin. While TORQUE holds many chapters of my life the first one I like to call...doubt.
Walking into the studio for the first time, I remember being so confident in myself that this was something that I was NOT going to like. I remember telling myself, "It's one hour of my life and if it totally sucks I never have to come back." I really couldn't wait for it to be over. I walked in and was greeted by the girls at the front desk (sorry for my cold- hearted self back in the day, much love to you all!) and they were so beyond helpful. I continued to the spin room where I chose my bike, little did I know then how many rides we would take together, and then met the instructor, Melissa. She introduced herself, helped me set up my bike, and told me to "make this ride mine and to have fun". I remember sitting on the bike before class looking around and people were genuinely happy. They were laughing, They were interacting. They were comfortable in their own skin. I was so beyond confused, I didn't understand what was happening, but something inside of me was changing.. After the class was over I tried so hard to not like it, but I couldn't. I was hooked. I left with a smile on my face and something going on inside my heart. Changes were happening. And the next day I was back. And slowly but surely I started to see progress.
This next chapter of my TORQUE journey is one I like to call...crying. Yup, you read that right, and you all probably know exactly what I mean. Like I said earlier, we all carry crosses around with us. I am no different, and while some may seem bigger or sadder or harder than others, the reality is, pain all feels the same and it demands to be felt. My cross is a big one. It's a sad one. It's an unfair one. No matter where I went, it went with me. It became my identity. It took over so much of my life that I had no idea who I was anymore. No self respect. No morals. No visions. No hope. No dreams. I threw in the towel. But then I found myself time and time again in a spin room, with all the lights off, and Kesha, Jessie J, or Rachel Platten playing (sound familiar?!), and me and my bike and a whole lot of tears. Because that's what TORQUE does, not make you cry, but make you FEEL. The workouts pushed me physically to the point where I wanted to quit, but at the same time mentally brought me face to face with the things that weighed me down. And when put in that position, I knew I would never quit. So ride after ride, tear after tear, I started to see my heart opening itself up to the love that TORQUE and its entire tribe was pouring out to me.
The next and current chapter of my TORQUE journey is called...living. And by, that I mean living life with the glass half full, rather than half empty. TORQUE has allowed me to see that we are all so very different, but when you strip away all the material things, we are all pretty much the same; works in progress learning every day how to be better versions of ourselves. We could all be ordinary people, trying to face these challenges on our own, but rather, we choose every time we step into TORQUE to be an extraordinary tribe tackling these challenges together. Now that's beauty right there. So TORQUE, thank you. For the second chance, the countless memories, the formation of new friendships and the rekindling of old ones, for the love and the support, and for welcoming me into the tribe. Things truly did turn around when I turned on my heart, thanks TORQUE for showing me the way.
With only love and the most grateful heart,