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-Dear me, love me. Dear you, love you.-

4/27/2020

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Dear Me, 
​

How are we entering the 7th week of this quarantine. 7 weeks of stillness in the world. 7 weeks of homes becoming office spaces and classrooms. 7 weeks of being together, yet apart. 7 weeks of chances and opportunities to become better or rise to the challenge. 7 weeks of at home workouts waiting to be done. 7 weeks of healthy meals to be cooked. 7 weeks of skincare routines and books to read. We have been through all of that and yet, I am looking back and thinking one thing… 7 weeks of me failing at it again. 

I just don't know how we got here. How has it been 7 weeks already. I mean it just seems to be flying by, yet going so slow. It seems like the days are so long, but there is still no time. It seems like the world is figuring out how to endure this and I’m not there yet. I mean I go on Instagram and see everyone and their mother doing these awesome workouts, making these amazing dinners, baking these scrumptious desserts, having zoom happy hours on repeat. I go on Facebook and see the amazingness of the world. Food bank donations, birthday parades, songs being released, and cards being sent to frontline workers. And here I am wondering if I will have the motivation today to to shower and answer one email before I log back on and scroll through again just to feel guilty and sorry for myself. 

I just can’t seem to find the good in this right now. I am wondering if maybe there is just something wrong with me. Why can’t I figure this out. Why can’t I just be like them. I am low on motivation. I am exhausted and annoyed by work. I am frustrated with my child’s teacher. I am scared to go to the store. I am finding every excuse in the book to not take care of myself. I am struggling with this more so than I can say and I just don't know what to do. I don't know who to turn to.
​
Love, Me 
​

Dear You, 
​
How I wish I could just wrap you up in a hug and not let you go until you feel all the love you need. Believe me when I say I hear you. I see you. I understand what you are going through. For the past 7 weeks, we have been walking in a dark tunnel with no light at the end in sight. We are on edge, we are scared, and we are frustrated that this is our reality. This is no where near easy. And I can promise you that those people on Instagram and Facebook didn't get an exclusive copy of a “how to make the best of this quarantine” book, because it does not exists. All we can do is try our best. Right now I need you to let all of those thoughts go. Let all of the frustration and guilt go. And just simply listen. 

“Those” people, are failing forward. Thats right, they are failing. They didn't get here, to this place, by just simply being the best things ever. They got here by trying this or that 100 times before they were able to post it for others to see. You feel me? No one waltzed into this knowing exactly how those next 7 weeks would pan out. It’s all a gamble. But the thing with that is you have to constantly be playing the game in order to “win”. I mean the chances of finding the perfect quarantine schedule with only making one are pretty low. It is all about figuring out how and when and where. and that takes more than one try. You were not made to give up. You were made to get up again. 

So maybe these past 7 weeks haven't worked out that great. That is okay. No one expects perfection in these times. But I know you do. So today, you start. Take these past 7 weeks and what you have done as all the things that you have failed forward with. Meaning you did them in attempt to become better and they simply didn't work. There is no guilt associated with it, no shame, no nothing except genuine effort that didn't fall into place. But know that we know they don't work and we know that they are not magically going to start working, so it is probably best that we make a change. So now, it’s time to try again. Pick a different time to workout. Plan your meals for the week and fill your instacart with those ingredients. Shower in the morning. Make virtual plans so you have something to look forward to. Set boundaries. And don't stop until you are happy. 

I can't stress enough to you that everything is not as it seems. Behind the posts and the stories, they are people. They are people with emotions and fears just like you.They are struggling and frustrated just like you. But they have failed forward over and over again to the point where they found something that works. You are well on your way my love. Don’t stop now. The world, now more than ever, needs to see you living your best life. I know you can do this. I know you want to do this. I just need to make sure you're not giving up. 

So close your eyes. Make a wish. When life ain’t easy remember this. Just close your eyes. Make a wish all the troubles can be fixed.

Love, You
1 Comment
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10/11/2020 02:16:41 am

This made my eyes water with tears! I have been struggling with how I was going to motivate myself to work harder. Lately, everything just feels like nothing is working out. I am slacking off and I do not even know why. I just know that I do not have the energy to continue being my usual self. I think sometimes I tend to forget that I am just a human being capable of getting tired. I always feel like I have to push myself to my limits or else I will start to feel like I am wasting my life. But, you are right. Things will work out in the end if you give yourself the love and care you badly need.

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    Caroline Menges. 
    First Grade Teacher. 
    Find me in the spin room.
    Music speaks to me. 
    Lover of words. 
    All things green and love.
    "Things turn around when you turn on your heart."

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